I was not prepared for the emotions when I resigned from my job as youth director of a church. After four years I was saying good-bye so my husband could do his year long internship in another state. When one loses something important to them that they have wrapped their identity around for years, he or she has the sudden inclination to replace it with something else. It’s like the teenage girl who had her heart broken by a boyfriend, but is quick to replace him only a few weeks later. I wanted to start on a new career path. Immediately.
So I looked into becoming a veterinary technician. I always loved animals. The more I researched it, the more excited I got. I started a veterinary technology distance learning program in January of 2007. I had one child at the time and was pregnant with a second. I was successful at managing my time. Papers turned in on time. Tests taken long before the due date. Better grades than I got in college. Loved studying. My passion grew.
Until a few days ago. I was scrubbing the floor of the bathroom and I began thinking about the things I am afraid of. A fear of not being somebody. I am a mom. I love being a mom. But from the very beginning, I wanted more.
Then this thought permeated my brain. We as stay at home mom do not have to BE somebody. We ARE somebody. I began to think what it would look in my
life if I quit this program TODAY. A tremendous wave of peace swept over me and I knew that is exactly what I had to do.
Ok by this point I am totally crying as I am trying to wipe the splattered tooth paste stains off the kitchen sink. I used to believe the fallacy that us a stay-at-home moms are uncool. We need something MORE, right? Ironically I have already have more—writing, running, digital scrapbooking, serving on committees, leading youth group.
I AM somebody. You ARE somebody too. As of a few days ago my focus is not when I will go to back to work or all the cool stuff I will do when I get there. My husband has been trying to tell me that for years and I did not believe him. Finally it stuck. Yes, we are pretty cool and we are doing cool stuff everyday.
Yes, I am going to miss learning about animal nursing. Of course. Right now I am wading through a mourning process. But I know I made the right decision. I will probably go to work someday when the children are older. What I will be doing
is more uncertain. But at least now I know I already AM somebody in the present.
So are YOU! We have one of the best jobs in the world even if I we do not always realize it. Do not forget it. Repeat until you are blue in the face especially on your bad days. I will too.