My oldest put this on the playroom door. The sign reads, “Things I am afraid of.” I think she got the stickers from a Sunday School lesson. The pictures are of common things children are scared of such as going to the dentist, bullies, barking dogs, and the first day of school.
Some of these things we, adults might still be afraid of. I am not a big fan of the dentist. I struggle with people who have “bullying” personalities. I am scared of big dogs. Last weekend I went running and was chased by not one but four dogs who I am pretty sure are Rottweilers. The first day of school–well any kind of change or transition is difficult no matter what age you are.
This afternoon I was out for a run and saw another mom pushing a baby in a double stroller. Her toddler daughter was walking beside her–exerting her own two-year old independence by refusing to ride with the baby.
I have not used my double stroller in a year. We are almost to the point where we can all walk to the store without anyone riding in something. My toddler days are numbered as my youngest will turn three next fall. Part of me feels like I need a diploma and a pat on the back. “Great job, you survived babyhood! You made it.” Another part of me grieves. Transitions are difficult. They bring a bit of anxiety.
It won’t be long and I’ll outgrow the mom’s group I immersed myself in the last few years. I am already on the older end of the spectrum. Although I thought I would have a party the day all three of my children go off to school, I am not sure I’ll be up for celebrating. Thinking about it brings about uncertainty and a bit of anxiety.
I’ve been clinging to this verse lately:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. –1 Peter 5:6&7
I thought I had my future all planned out. I was going to continue in veterinary technology school and start working in a veterinary clinic when Child #3 went off to kindergarten. I was going to have an easy transition from stay-at-home mom to part time working mom. God revelealed to me last summer that was not part of His plan. He had other plans for my future. What are they? I do not know yet. Sometimes it is OK not knowing. I figure I will know I when I get there.
All I know is tomorrow I am going to wake up to three beautiful children making too much noise for 7:00 AM. I am going to spend the day reading books about cherry pickers and dump trucks, watching my oldest learn to swim, and singing to Raffi’s Baby Beluga as we drive to Bible Study. If we focus on what we need to do today, tomorrow does not seem quite so scary anymore.