Everyday Mom
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Category Archives: Family Outreach Projects

Random Acts of Kindness Day: 51 Ideas To Get You Started

December 4, 2012

RAKEMy friend Melissa shared on facebook about Random Acts of Kindess Day which is coming up on December 12, 2012.  In order to preserve the holiday season as a time of giving and spreading Christ’s love for those around us, her family is doing 12 acts of kindness of 12/12/2012.

I had been looking for some service projects to do with my kids. Melissa’s list is great!  These are all things family members can do together.  Now if I can figure out how to all 12 in one day…especially on a Wednesday which tend to be our busier days.  I am committing to this so we’re doing it!

Most of these might not make a huge earth shattering difference in our eyes, but God uses every moment for His glory.  I have to give credit to Melissa for the first 39 on the list, but I added a few of my own.

  1. Place encouraging notes on bathroom mirrors/stalls
  2. Put change in meters for people (the courthouse/downtown would be a good place for this)
  3. Bakes goodies or a meal and take it to the firehouse
  4. Pay for the person behind us in line (the cashier could give the note)
  5. Bring flowers to the elderly or a neighbor
  6. Wash someone’s car for them
  7. Help someone with yard work
  8. Bring hot chocolate/coffee to bell ringers
  9. Buy flowers and after paying for them hand them to the cashier and say thank you.
  10. Mail carrier homemade gift/card (fast food card lunch is on us today)
  11. Trash man homemade gift/card (fast food card lunch is on us today)
  12. Leave quarters on a soda/snack machine with a note.
  13. A dollar in the dollar store toy section with a note.
  14. Gather the grocery carts and return them in the store.
  15. Leave diaper and wipes on a public changing table.
  16. Care packs for the homeless.
  17. Clean out toys and donate to charity.
  18. Clean out clothes and donate to charity.
  19. Pick up trash.
  20. Send a thank you letter to a solider.
  21. Help someone load their groceries in their car.
  22. Visit a nursing home.
  23. Take canned goods to a food bank.
  24. Collect coins and give to charity.
  25. Hold the door for someone.
  26. Leave coins at a laundry mat. (Note says Laundry is on us today)
  27. Write 5 things you like about someone and give it to them.
  28. Make daddy breakfast in bed.
  29. Allow someone behind you in line to go ahead of you.
  30. Place a note on someone’s windshield.
  31. Take old towels and pet food to an animal shelter.
  32. Smile and speak to 10 strangers.
  33. Sweep a neighbors sidewalk.
  34. Leave candy and a note on a stranger’s door.
  35. Give bags of microwave popcorn to people in line for redbox.
  36. Quarters on gumball machines.
  37. Gatorade to construction/outside workers. (or in our case hot chocolate because they are probably wet and cold!)
  38. Shop for stockings for needy kids. (have stockings one for boy and one for girl)
  39. Return neighbors trash cans after trash day.
  40. Bring baked goods to a homeless shelter
  41. Make a Christmas craft for a home bound senior in your church
  42. Send a note of appreciation to your church or kid’s school janitor
  43. Make a gift basket for  your next door neighbors and introduce yourself if you don’t know one another!
  44. Pray for someone who is going through a difficult time
  45. Bring doughnuts or bagels to a business
  46. Listen to what someone is saying when they share a story.  Ask them questions and take an interest.  Don’t start talking about your own experience (very hard for young moms to do–I’m one of them!!)
  47. Tell your child’s teacher how much you appreciate him/her.
  48. Do household chore that is typically done by your spouse.
  49. Shovel your neighbors driveway along with your own (if you live where there is snow)
  50. Bring in all your cans.  Instead of pocketing the money, use it for a random act of kindness.
  51. Try to go through the WHOLE day without complaining about something you don’t have, how busy you are, all the things you still have to do, and how tired you might be!!

If you are local, my kids & I would love to bless Simonka Place, a women and children’s shelter here in town.  Simonka Place is doing AMAZING things for these women that we can’t do with our limited time and resources.   They are most in need of canned fruits and vegetables, peanut butter and Tylenol (I found it interest Tylenol was one of the most needed items–but it makes sense).  If you want to contribute to our little food and Tylenol drive you can do the following:

1) Drop food items off to my house (message me for the address if you don’t have it already) before Wednesday.

2)  Contact me before Wednesday to pick up items.  

3)  Contact me before Wednesday to pick up pop cans.  We will turn them in for you and use the money to purchase fruits, veggies, peanut butter and/or Tylenol.

And if you’re out of town but would like to contribute, contact your own rescue mission in your town and find out what their most needed items are (some of it might be on their website).

Posted by in Family Outreach Projects, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

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Frugal Living & Giving

June 21, 2012

Those of us who have chosen to live frugally learn to live within our means.  Living simply opens your heart to those who are forced to live frugally due to crisis situations or unforseen circumstances.  Your compassion grows for the poor.

With that being said, giving is complicated.  Have you ever given food to a homeless person on the street and he turned it away because he wanted something else?  Or given money to the single mom of four who has been attending your church and complained about barely making rent.  Then you discover she purchased a new ipad and is planning a Florida vacation.  I cannot tell you the number of times I hear people make comments when they see poverty-stricken homes with satellite dishes in the backyards.

How do we respond to all this?

First of all anytime you give to anyone, it is a gift.  Period.  When you give money to someone in need, you cannot assume they are going to use the money the way you want them to.   I am not saying that you should never give a friend money or pass out food to a homeless man.  Do not give to them with strings attached.

You might want to consider giving to a rescue mission instead.  Keep in mind many of these agencies and missions have established strong relationships with those in need and understand the ins and outs of poverty.  If you are skeptical–visit a rescue mission, volunteer at one, have lunch with the director, or subscribe to their newsletter.

Second of all realize that some people struggle with money management.  Living on a budget is not something they were taught.  Debt or frivolous spending is normal.   Many rescue missions and churches are teaching people “life skills” such a balancing a checkbook, grocery shopping on a budget, cooking instead of eating out, starting small businesses, writing a resume, applying for a job etc.

Our hearts might be in the right place when it comes to giving.  We also need wisdom and integrity that we are using our resources in a positive way.

I’m linking this with Frugal Friday

Posted by in Family Outreach Projects, Financial Freedom & Saving Money Tags: , , ,

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Serving is a partnership

January 16, 2012

Over Christmas Break, I volunteered at a local elementary school where all children can receive a free lunch.  My children came along. We helped with Christmas crafts and set up games for the families to play during the lunch hour.

There were many moms of all differing ages with children.  We did not have volunteer shirts or name tags so I realized some of the moms thought I was there for the same purpose as them–getting a free lunch for my family (when in a way I was–my kids got a meal too).  One mom tried to make conversation with me and asked if I enrolled my preschooler in Head Start or got on food stamps.   I was very self-conscious.  What if this mom found out I send my kids to a Lutheran school and I stay at home full-time because we can afford it?  Would she still want to talk to me?

One of the other volunteers got out a box of Christmas gifts.  I forewarned my children they might not get a gift.  We were there to serve and we would let the other children pick first.  That same mom who tried to make conversation with me took my oldest daughter by the hand and said, “Here, why don’t you pick out a gift?”  My daughter glanced at me and I nodded.  It was OK.

Serving is a two-way relationship.  Last summer I wrote a news story about a youth group from New Mexico.  Most of them live in the third poorest county in the United States.  A group from a middle class suburban church here in Oregon did a mission trip to this area in New Mexico, formed relationships with the church, and invited the youth group to come to Oregon and serve in their church’s summer day camp.  A partnership was established.

Often times we see the lower class as needy, useless, helpless, or without gifts.  Yet many have willing hearts to serve.  If we can lay aside our self-conscious feelings, racism, or judgements we can form a beautiful friendships.  Our church is implementing this “mission partnership” with an inner city church in Philadelphia.  I am thrilled to be a part of it and how God is going to use each of us in the process.

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I kept the holidays from going bah-humbug

December 26, 2011

I truly believe life runs smoother when we set goals.  It is amazing how chaotic and directionless my days get when I fail to make a to-do list (or make one and don’t follow it).  I love the holidays, but never liked the constant craziness and running from one activity to the next.  I have a history of crashing mentally after Christmas and then not recovering until March.

This holiday season I set goals to keep me from going “bah-humbug.”  Aside from a few anxiety ridden days, it went SO MUCH better than previous years.  It also helps having kids that are slightly older.  I had two Christmases in the past five years where I had a newborn in the house and a toddler.

Here’s my previous goals…and my results.

1.  I will not turn on the 24/7 Christmas music station until the day after Thanksgiving AT THE EARLIEST.  Yes, this music pumps me up, but it starts to drive me wacky to the point I despise it.

I had it on most of the time when I was home or in the car.  But the Christmas tunes did not start until the Black Friday shopping excursion in the van.  occasionally I took breaks and had the alternative rock station on or Talk Radio.

2.  I will not complain about my husband’s busy work schedule especially because Christmas falls on a Sunday this year which means one less church service to lead.

When Christmas falls on a Sunday, it makes it super nice for pastors and pastor families.  I guess we need to enjoy it while we can.  Christmas will not fall on a Sunday until the year 2016.

3.  I will try to exercise at least 3-5 times a week during the month of December

Not only did I exercise at least three times a week, but I started pre-training for a marathon I hope to run in June.  My husband and I acknowledge we have been snacking recklessly since Halloween. I had somewhat of a meltdown trying on jeans in a dressing room last week.  I decided to utilize My Fitness Pal to help regulate my eating.  For me it is not about the pounds lost or fitting into a tight pair of jeans–it’s portion control and NOT finding comfort from sweet snacks.

4.  I will begin to pack for our Christmas vacation to the Midwest at least five days in advance.

I started packing yesterday!

5.  I will do some sort of giving project with my kids.

Our local public schools provide healthy lunches during Christmas & Spring Break to families in need.  This is also sponsored by a food share charitable organization and several businesses.  The school in our neighborhood was providing this service.  They also set up board games, books, coloring sheets, and Christmas crafts for the kids to do.  It is a service provided for all kids ages 0 – 18 regardless of what school they attend.   My oldest daughter and I helped the first day.  It was a smaller crowd, but we helped make reindeer pencils.  Then I took all three of my kids the Thursday before Christmas.  We played Santa and passed out gifts donated from Starbucks.  My oldest daughter played Play dough with some girls.  My son jumped right into of a game of monster trucks with some older boys.  I greatly enjoyed talking with some kids, young people, and moms from the community.  I loved doing a community project with all three of my kids!

6.  I will stay home from a holiday party if I am already drained and exhausted… 

I had to miss one party because of my husband’s evening work schedule.  I was a little disappointed at first.  But I was so tired that night that I fell asleep before 10 PM.  So maybe I needed the extra rest.

7.  I will start working on my handmade gifts in mid November (already started on them!)

We got everything done in time.  It helped I had to do a presentation on handmade gifts at my mom’s group in early December.  That was a good motivation to get things done.  I did make three different photo calendars this year.  Which got a little crazy trying to complete them all before the coupons expired, but I managed to complete it in time.

8.  I will do a special holiday related activity with each of my children.  I did this last year and it was the highlight of my Christmas season.

I took my son to Five Guys Burger and Fries –one of his favorite restaurants.  We visited a Christmas lights display and he got to visit Santa Claus.  I took my older daughter to see Arthur’s Christmas which I totally recommend.  Loved it!  I took my younger daughter to a coffee shop that has toddler toys and a play area.  These special outings are always highlights for me during Christmas Break.

9.  I will do the Advent Calendar with my children.  I will not be overly hard on myself if we miss a few days.

Even amidst our busy holiday season and numerous nights out, we managed to do the Advent Calendar most nights we were home.  Aside from a little bickering about who got to eat the candy, it made the meaning of Advent come alive.  My oldest especially asked great questions about the Nativity.

10.  I will watch National lampoons Christmas Vacation with Rob even though I have seen it at least 27 times…

We watched it Friday night!  I think it was more funny hearing my daughter say, “Is this a true story?”

Posted by in Family Outreach Projects, Friends & Get togethers, Inside the home, Mental Health & Self Care, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

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Social Justice Mom: The Food We Buy

December 22, 2011

This marks the end of my Social Justice Mom series.  If you want a recap I first shared about seeing people as “people” not neccessarily poverty stricken helpless poor people.  Then my friend Sammy shared about intentionally living in a diverse neighborhood and how to not be consumed by fear living in such a community.

How do we practice the love and care for people–all people all over the world?

I just finished reading Everyday Justice by Julie Clawson.  Clawson shares how our everyday tasks like drinking a cup of coffee, eating a chocolate bar, buying a t-shirt, or shopping in a grocery store has a global impact.   We may not realize it, but our food and clothing choices might be supporting workers who are not paid a fair wage as well as undergoing abuse or horrible work environments.  We might be supporting “sweatshops” with our clothing choices.  I looked through most of my clothing labels as well as my kids.  I have only one item of clothing that was made in the United States.

A few years ago I watched the movie Food Inc.  In this movie and also in Clawson’s book, I learned that our food purchases are our votes.  Our nation’s food supply is controlled by only a handful of corporations. Profit is put above consumer health, fair wages for employees, and safety for our environment.  Why do people reach for the fast food cheeseburger instead of the fresh locally grown apple?  Because it is fast, easy, it’s on the dollar menu, and for some provides some kind of comfort.  That’s casting a vote.

I used to make frozen chicken nuggets for my kids every Sunday night before evening church.  After watching Food Inc.  I can’t buy chicken nuggets anymore (I do make my own and have a super easy recipe).  Slowly we are trying to make better food choices and utilizing local produce and even local meat…and learning how to garden.  You will still find processed food in my pantry as well as coffee and chocolate that is not fair trade.  However, I think change and understanding begins with awareness.  Everyday Justice did this for me.  Clawson says,

“Truthfully, I myself don’t always take the time to think about what I eat…I still make food choices that harm the earth and to others with my choices…Without taking it slow, the enormity of the issue would lead me to throw up my hands in despair and do nothing at all.”  (112)

I cannot change the world by buying one fair trade piece of chocolate.  But I can be aware.  I can even make some small changes.  Which might lead to bigger changes.  This list from the Food Inc. movie website gives some great tips.

 

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Social Justice Mom: How not to be consumed by fear

December 15, 2011

On Thursdays for the month of December I have been doing a blog series on social justice and how we as moms can have compassion for the poor and less fortunate.  Last week my friend Sammy who lives in an urban neighborhood in Michigan shared about being accidentally intentional in her community.  This week Sammy is sharing again about fear. 

Fear or how not to be consumed by it

Last Friday night, just after midnight, I was lying in my bed. As I settled down for a great sleep, I heard 7 loud gunshots right outside my front window.

Then there was silence.

Seconds later, I heard the slap of shoes as someone ran down the sidewalk, jumped into a waiting vehicle and drove off.

My husband and I were discussing what had just happened and whether or not we should call the police.  Suddenly my Dad, who was visiting for the weekend, popped his head out of the guest room and asked, “Was that gunfire?”

Um, yes.

Of all the questions and comments we get about where we live, it is safe to say that the majority center around safety: Is it safe? Isn’t it dangerous? Are your kids safe? What about gangs? Couldn’t you be hurt or your stuff be stolen?

The answers are easy for me to say, but harder for others to accept. Is it safe? Is it dangerous? Listen, living is dangerous. There is harm and bad things that happen in every area, in every city, and every suburb. If you think there is a place to live where there is no danger, you are deluding yourself. That being said, I wouldn’t  have my kids in a place where I feared for their lives during every waking moment or couldn’t let them play outside by themselves. But I know they are safe here.

What about gangs? Gunshot? Having stuff stolen? Scary people? Well in some ways, those are the realities of where we live. Yep, we hear gunshots, there are fights in the street, and we have to call the police. One summer evening, the kids and I were eating dinner when we watched someone run through our backyard. Moments later we watched as armed SWAT team members and dogs followed him through our yard. The man was running away from a gun bust and decided to use our backyard as part of his escape. He was apprehended two houses over. Later, the police stopped by asking me to keep my eyes open for a “dangerous item” that the criminal may have dropped in our backyard.

In our town, the majority of violence is not random. This is not the gang wars of the 1990s where innocent people are caught in the cross-fire of major gang wars. Violence is drug or revenge-related. Almost every time.

Do we have stuff stolen from us? Yes, sometimes as the result of our own actions, sometimes not. Leaving the cars unlocked can result in them being rifled through, but to their dismay, there isn’t much of value in a mom’s mini-van.  We’ve had bikes and lawnmowers stolen. We’ve had our garage broken into. So have our neighbors. Although we call the police and file a report, there is little they can do in such circumstances.

How in the world do I sleep at night? With all these scary things, how can I have any sense of peace and safety and security?

I have a three part answer for that.

Part 1 comes from the confession of my denomination, the Christian Reformed Church. The Heidelberg Catechism is set up as a series of questions and answers that walk through the aspects of living life in Christ.  Q & A 1 state:

What is my only comfort in life and in death?

That I am not my own, but belong— body and soul, in life and in death— to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.

I belong to a loving and God who knows me and watches over me. And because he is faithful, I am obedient, especially when it means I live in a place where I have to depend on him for comfort and peace.

Part 2. Lest you think that I am somehow immune to fear, know that in fact I am prone to anxiety. I have to work very to control my thoughts and keep them from running to things that are fearful. But 3 years ago, when I was struggling deeply with my fear, with what was happening around me, with the rumors of horrible things that I heard everywhere, God gave me this passage from Isaiah.

This is what the LORD says to me with his strong hand upon me warning me not to follow the way of this people:

12 “Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy;  do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.  13 The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread.

-Isaiah 8:11-13

God calls us to live differently. Our choices, when made within his will, do not make sense to the world around us. And the world around us is scared and fearful. God tells me not to follow their way of thinking, to remember that God who is in his holy place is the one who is holy, he is the one that we are to fear. remembering that is God’s world and he is clearly in control keeps me from spiraling into fear.

Finally, Part 3. I take great comfort in my own actions. Scripture is clear that those who live according to God’s will are free. Although I am not bound to follow laws for the sake of my salvation, I follow them because  they lead me to live a more Godly life. Because I do not participate or are involved in drugs or revenge or violence or illicit relationships, I am also free from the natural consequences of such behavior. There is no one seeking to harm or take revenge upon me.

But you also need to know that we live safely: we lock our doors at night. I don’t let strange people I don’t know into my house, especially if Eric isn’t home. We work hard to know our neighbors, to be friendly to others who live in our neighborhood, and do our best to help if there is a need. And we have some basic rules: don’t give money to people who come to the door asking for it. If they say they are hungry, offer food. Buy things from kids who come to the door selling stuff for fundraisers. Whether it is a candy bar or a small vial of knock-off perfume, being generous with kids helps them in their efforts and builds your good-will.

Fear is a sneaky thing. If you give it a foothold, it isn’t long before it takes up residence in your heart, guiding your actions and reactions.

I can live where I live without fear because I believe in a God who is bigger than even my greatest fear.

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The Social Justice Mom: Accidentally Intentional

December 8, 2011

The following was written by Samantha Beuker.  She is a mother of three and in the process of adopting two children from Africa.  She is a stay-at-home mom and homeschools her kids.  She blogs at the The Unexpected Life

It is with a humble-sort-of-pride that I tell you that I live in an urban part of my medium-sized Midwest town. My neighbors are black and white, single, married, living together, unemployed, living off the state, two-income earners. There are stay-at-home moms and latch key kids. Grandmas raising grandkids and homes that have been in families for 2 or 3 generations.  The houses are all about 100 years old—some beautifully maintained, others newly refurbished, others dilapidated and worn down.

For the past 12 years, my husband and I have chosen to live life and do ministry in the urban area our church is centered in. Because of that one simple choice, our lives have taken a different path than we could have ever imagined.

My journey into Intentional Urban Living began as an accident. It happened because I had two kittens.

My husband, Eric, and I had just celebrated our first anniversary and landed our “grown-up” jobs: he in health care, me as a staff member of our inner-city, urban church. To celebrate, we adopted two precious kittens. And our landlord gave us our notice to move out.

With great anticipation we started house hunting. We had decided to stay in the general area: I worked about 3 miles away from our apartment. Besides we liked the area, it was generally safe, the houses had character, and it was very family-friendly.  It reminded us of the areas that we had grown up in: secure, two-parent, enclaves where the troubles of the world happened far from our front yards.

Upon hearing word that we were house-hunting, a member of our church told us of a house he owned that he was looking to sell. It was two blocks from our church. And that was the only thing going for it.

It had been neglected for a number of years before our friend bought it. His plan was to make it a rental.  On our first drive-by, my husband took one look at the peeling siding, the caving in garage, the weedy garden and said, “No way.”

Our church and neighborhood used to be a white, Dutch-immigrant community. But in the midst of the racial turmoil of the 60s & 70s, the neighborhood transitioned into housing for black families. By & large the white families fled to the suburbs.  The neighborhood went into decline. Many of the houses became rentals and weren’t  kept up to high standards. When we started to consider living there, the neighborhood was mixed between three races (white, black, & Hispanic} and was considerably lower-class and unstable. Houses that had been well kept for years stood empty and neglected or were beat up and then abandoned. There was no way we belonged in a place like that.

But God persisted. The idea of living two blocks from my work and our church was enticing. Through the ministry of our church, people were beginning to know both my husband and me. Our head pastor and a few other member families lived in the neighborhood and had raised their families there. They shared with us the reality of living in a racially diverse and economically depressed area.

We decided the house, which had been refurbished to our specifications, was a great starter house. We said that after a year or two, we would buy a larger house in a safer neighborhood. But before that could happen, that neighborhood became our home.

We knew our neighbors and they knew us. As I walked to and from work, I developed relationships with men and women, black and white and brown, young and old. My world was colorful, vibrant, and secure. We learned what was safe and what was unsafe behavior. And during out 7 years in that house, we never experienced a major theft. Why? I am sure it was because we were known, we were friendly, we were part of a community of people who looked out for each other.

Our mission in that neighborhood was simple: to be a stable, solid, and available presence in an unstable place. But while we lived there, we learned that it wasn’t that the community needed us, but that we needed to be a part of that community. I had to let go of the notion that I knew everything, had an answer for every problem, and realize that I had much to learn. It was with great joy that we received much from the neighbors who we had assumed had so little. Even if they didn’t have something to offer us that was worth money to the world, we learned and received love, compassion, and sometimes homemade tacos!

In our little house, we experienced a life we had never before considered. Our next door neighbors were a family of Guatemalans, some in our country legally, some not, some with great English, some with no English. Across the street lived Grandma Reid was raising her grandkids and introduced us to sweet potato pie. Ms. Maddie lived on the corner and kept a pristine house and yard. Rebecca, down the street, was raising 4 kids on her own after her husband was sentenced to serve time. Living in our neighborhood forced me to confront every single one of my stereotypes and preconceived ideas on race, class, family, and living.

It wasn’t always easy. It is hard to face your racist tendencies, to look into injustice that you didn’t cause but that you perpetuate. It is not easy to defend difficult living to family members. They hear your complaints, but can’t understand the context, nor why such barriers even need to be broken. To them, the solution is simple: buy up, move out; your misery is your own fault.

Living in an urban setting has changed our lives, our hearts, and our faith. And I don’t think we would live our lives in any other way.

 

 

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The Social Justice Mom: It’s More Than What They Have

December 1, 2011

The Social Justice Mom

  Every Thursday for the month of December you will find a post about social justice and community development and how you as a mom can make a difference.  I am teaming up with my college friend Sammy who intentionally lives in the poor neighborhood within her city.  She has some good stories and insights to share. You’ll hear her story next week.   If you would like to contribute to this blog series, please send me an e-mail.  My first post is my own experience with serving among the poor.

A few years ago, a fellow youth pastor was talking about having the high school kids from his church share about their mission trip experience in Mexico.  “And if I hear one more person say, ‘We have so much and they have little so I should be grateful for what I have,’ I am going to throw up.”

Oh how I could relate!

If our own children are only seeing the poor by what they have or don’t have, they are not seeing the whole picture.

I want my children to see poverty-stricken families as “people.” As well as I want those who are poor to see me beyond “a white rich person” who has much more stuff than they have.

I spent four months during my college years in Indonesia.  I lived in a culture where people had very little–grass huts, gathering food from gardens, little clothing, simple one room schools was my life for four short months.  We were not permitted to hand out clothing or shoes to the people in the village.  Even though our hearts were in the right place, we created what my teacher Scotty called “paternalism.”  The local people saw us as rich white Americans giving hand outs instead of friends which we were seeking to become.  Most of us left our clothes, pillows, and shoes behind with missionaries who could distribute them in a more effective way.

Sudhir Alladi Venkatesh in his book, Off the Books:  The Underground Economy of the Urban Poor conducts a sociological study on various “soccer moms” of a poor urban neighborhood on the south side of Chicago.  Venkatest says:

“Their [mothers in the Chicago neighborhood] waking lives are an unending effort to provide the simplest of things: food, clothing, and shelter for their families, and a neighborhood that is safe.  These are hardly chores that separate them from the majority of American women who, through discrimination, custom, and preference, have assumed domestic leadership.  However, unlike most women, [these women] keep house and home in a poor community where joblessness and poverty are entrenched.” (22)

If you like many of us will serve at a soup kitchen this holiday season or drop off a Thanksgiving basket for someone struggling financially, try to get to know the person you are helping.  Even a four-minute conversation makes a difference.

Remember that person is someone’s child.  That is someone’s brother or sister.  You  have more in common with that person than you ever thought possible.  That person can even become your friend.  Step outside of yourself, lay your judgements aside, and embrace them.  Once you see who they really are, you will not see them as “the poor person,” ”the black lady,” “the Hispanic man,” “the Mexican child.”  You will see them as “Manuel” or “Temina” or “Paula.”  You will see them beyond what possessions they have or do not have.  I want that for my children and I am doing everything in my power to teach that to them.

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What Thanksgiving Really Means To Me

November 24, 2011

My daughter's Thanksgiving greeting on the family white board

About ten years ago I had the opportunity to serve as an adult leader on a mission trip to a low-income area of North Carolina.  We were assigned to a work-site where we had to clean-up and replace dry wall.  I was inside a lady’s kitchen that was ravished by Hurricane Floyd only a few weeks earlier.  I wrapped what was left of her glasses and plates in newspaper and placed them in a cardboard box while conversing with the two other high school students on our team.  One of the other adult leaders interrupted us an hour into our work and asked us to come sit on the front lawn.  Some of the guys who were in the middle of ripping out drywall asked, “Can we just continue working?”

“No,” the other adult leader said strongly, “you need to hear this.”

She gathered us all on the front lawn and the elderly lady whose home we were working on shared her story.  She told all about the strong winds and heavy rains of Hurricane Floyd and how she barely escaped.  A family member showed up to her home with a boat and she had to climb out the front window.

After her story, we went back into the house to work and piled up water-soaked mattresses, moldy furniture, stained clothing and made a pile in the front yard for the garbage men.  I looked at the items and Matthew 6:19-21 kept circulating in my brain:

19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust  destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but lay up for yourselves  treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do  not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be  also.

“It could just all go away.  Like that,”  I thought.

We live in a culture where we want things and we want them yesterday.  It is getting easier and quicker to buy a new computer or the latest gadget or a new pair of Nikes with a click of a mouse.  You do not even have to leave your house, brave the rain or ice, or go from store to store.  Yet it takes just one hurricane or one tornado or one fire or one robbery or one fall of the economy for it to go away.

I am not implying that this Thanksgiving weekend you should avoid the Black Friday crowds or get rid of  your iPod or worse yet live in fear that a hurricane is going to destroy your home.   Please remember that the stuff of this earth is temporary and it is not going to give you the all surpassing joy that Paul talks about in Philippians 3:8.

“I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.”

Because of my time spent in low-income areas and living on a beans and rice budget for years and yet seeing God provide, I have grown in my faith.  I like my computer, my mini van, my digital camera, and my vacations to the Midwest & Canada.  And don’t get me wrong I want a nice pair of boots and a road bike.  But somehow it just doesn’t matter as much.  Stuff doesn’t carry the same priority as it did years ago.

The Lord gives.  The Lord takes away.  The Lord provides.

Posted by in Family Outreach Projects, Mental Health & Self Care Tags: , , ,

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Family Outreach Projects

October 12, 2011

I was a high school student in the 1990′s and part of “the mission trip” generation.  Most youth groups were abandoning going to youth conventions and camps and instead going to places like inner city Chicago or venturing south of the border to Mexico doing everything from construction projects to Vacation Bible Schools.  We and the generation that followed us are “hands on.” We like hearing missionaries share about their experience and watch the slide shows in the church basement, but we want to seize new opportunities on the front lines of ministry.  We want to get our hands dirty and directly support these missionaries using all five senses.

As a mom I want my children to learn they can help the poor, reach out to those in need, and love people who are different from them.  We started doing one small outreach project a week.  I hesitated to blog about it.  I do not want to have an attitude of ”Look at us–we’re a great family because look at the nice stuff we are doing in the community.”  After I talked to several moms over the past few weeks who said, “Our family wants to do something.  We don’t know where to start,” I realized it might be helpful to get our ideas out there.

I am also a learner.  I lived in the inner city for a year, I spent four months in Indonesia as a college student, I have been to Mexico a half dozen times, and I studied missions in college.  But teaching my children about outreach is a brand new experience.

We decided to do one small project each week.  We started when school began.  The first week we made zucchini chocolate chip muffins for a Women and Children’s shelter.  I asked the volunteer coordinator how preschool and elementary children could serve and this was one of their suggestions.  My kids loved it and I took them along to drop off the muffins.

Making muffins for the women and children's shelter

The second week we drew pictures for a young child in our church that was having surgery.  My son thought of this on his own when he said we should pray for the little boy.  My kids could not visit him in the hospital, but my husband took the pictures to him when he went to visit the family.

The third week we drew pictures for a girl in India our family sponsors through Gospel for Asia’s Bridge of Hope. They make it super easy to write to your child.  They even send you a blank letter and you can send it to their US office.  You do not have to worry about postage to India.  My oldest child drew her a picture and wrote the girl’s name on it.  Trying to explain about third world countries and poverty to preschoolers is difficult.  It helps that we have a picture of the girl we sponsor.

Drawing a picture for our sponsored child

These are very simple ways you can teach your children about giving and outreach and you hardly have to leave your house to do it.  Honestly they take up so little time.  We are all busy, aren’t we?  Some of these projects were things my daughter could work on while I unloaded the dishwasher or made dinner–not a huge time investment.  I have more ideas in mind and I will share them as we do them.

Posted by in Family Outreach Projects Tags: , , , , , ,

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