Back in May I shared five things you can do for your pastor’s wife. So it only seems natural to write about five things your pastor’s wife can do for the church. Whether you are a pastor’s wife or not, I hope you can find encouragement in this.
1) Do not come to the rescue every time a program needs a director. Many of us pastor’s wives have years of ministry experience under our belts. Some of us were teaching Sunday School, working in the nursery, or running the Power Point projector fresh out of junior high. Some of us have degrees in church related fields or graduated from seminary. Probably the number one thing I have learned the past six years as a pastor’s wife is to have a humble heart. I cannot fix everything. I cannot extend myself to every committee. I will fail. Period. And I might even take others down with me.
2) Listen, listen, listen! If you want to earn people’s trust, if you want authentic friendships, and if you want to gain respect–be quick to listen and slow to speak. Refrain from gossip. If your husband or someone else in the church trusted you with confidential information, you need to keep it private. Even if your best friend in the church assures you it will not go outside of the walls of the room you are standing in, don’t share it. If you need to unload or vent, write in a private journal NOT on a blog!
3) Have people over. Inviting someone into your home is a friendly gesture and shows you are willing to share yourself with them. Your home does not have to be the type of place where people can drop by announced for a cup of coffee. You don’t even have to keep your house clean every single day. I don’t! Find a way to have a few seniors over for a Sunday lunch, or the youth group over for pizza, or the deacons and elders over for a barbeque. It gets easier with practice!
4) Love the other people on staff. Some churches celebrate Pastor’s Appreciation Month. I am all for celebrating your pastor and showing your love for him/her. Keep in mind your church secretary, janitor, or youth pastor might receive little appreciation. Their jobs can be dirty (sometimes literally) and they may have to put out ”ministry fires” too.
5) Never play the victim! Yes, there are drawbacks. But is it not that way with a lot of things? You will never succeed if you are constantly wallowing in the “poor me’s.” Find a way to rise above it. You will appreciate your position more and see many of the hidden blessings.
